Posted by: shellyweave | June 24, 2010

i’m kicking myself

Dear Internet,

I FAIL. I fail for many reasons but today it is a very specific one:

I didn’t jump.

Okay, so backstory. My good friend has hit a pretty rough patch with her love life in the last day or two, so we decided that we would take an impromptu trip to Sedona, a city a few hours away known for its red rocks, spiritual mysticism, and Slide Rock. Slide Rock is a state park that consists of a creek that has been running over the red rocks for centuries, smoothing them into this sort of slippery natural slide. Under the bridge you take to get there are cliffs that overlook a really deep part of the water and typically people jump from them.

THE cliff to jump is 35 feet tall. So my friend and I spent an hour sitting on the rocks below in the shade just talking and watching the boys that were brave enough to jump. We had come to Slide Rock specifically to cliff dive, but now that we were underneath the huge cliffs we were having second thoughts. After some coaxing from the other jumpers we make the climb to the top of the tallest cliff and spend about a half hour debating the pros and cons of dying from a bad jump. The boys at the top were coaching us through the correct way to do it so we wouldn’t get hurt, and the boys below were yelling phrases like “no fear!”, “once in a lifetime chance…”, and “hurry UP!”.

You know me well enough now to know that the falling aspect combined with the audience both below and behind me was seriously freaking me out. My friend, who is fairly fearless, was having a really hard time stepping off that edge too, but she was determined. I was shaking and about to puke, so I told her that I would climb back down and once I got to the bottom she would have to do it.

And much to fifteen spectators’ disappointment, I made it to the bottom by climbing rather than jumping. But as soon as I was there my friend confidently flung herself from the cliff and endured the fall that is long enough to think about landing wrongly, but too short do anything about it.

I instantly regretted climbing down. And the whole car ride home was nothing but regret. And I am regretting it as I write this. So that is why I have planned another trip at the end of the summer to conquer my fears, this time with more support and hopefully with you, Meghan. I’m not exactly positive how you feel about this cliff diving business, but I think we should make it a goal to both take on that 35 foot drop before senior year starts.


PS that photo was taken from the side of the interstate the FIRST time the car overheated. It was a rough drive back, let me tell you. I wasn’t sure we were going to make it!

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